Independence

So, the other day I came across my first offer to take part in a “link up”: an opportunity where a bunch of bloggers write about a specific topic and link to the original website that suggested it, on  The Activity Mom.  To see more, or take part your self!, you can click on the link below:

I was all set to write about how I’d gotten a ladle & a little pitcher so Br (3 3/4) could scoop his own cereal out of the box & pour himself milk for his breakfast.   I took a picture.  I was mentally preparing how I would write about what a proud Mommy I was to see my first-born child taking off in his confidence and abilities….

But then yesterday, as I was working on the laptop, I heard Br call out “I’m thirsty. Can you get me something to drink Mama?” I replied “Okay, hold on…,” as I started extracting myself from what I was enmeshed in.  I heard the rustling traces of Br grabbing his cup off the table and moving to the kitchen.  As I started to lift myself off the couch with an “I’m coming…”, I was shocked to hear the sound of the water pouring from the refrigerator dispenser.  Next thing I heard was ” I got it, Mommy.”

I stopped. Oh.

Then I felt the hitch in my chest and the corresponding thought: “my child didn’t need me.”

Now, I support my child’s independence.  I try to give him every opportunity to do things for himself and learn about things that I can think of.  But every step before, or at least every step before I had noticed, I had guided & cheered him through those initial attempt(s) until he was ready to try it on his own:

“Do you want to try going down the slide by yourself this time? Mommy can catch you at the bottom…”

“Dip the paintbrush in the water, then use that to get the paint wet. Swirl it around.  Look at all the color on your brush!”

“Look at how your foot is curved on the inside.  The shoe has a curve on the inside too. That’s how you know which foot to put it on!”

“Ok, see that tag in the back of your underwear? Put that in the back, between your feet…”

This time, I wasn’t even in the room watching. Hadn’t even suggested it.  Apparently Br had watched us do it enough times, had grown tall enough while no one was paying attention, that he could do it all on his own without any of us realizing it.  Until Br realized it on his own today.

I am sure it is not the last time my heart will be slapped with that particular hitch.  Heck, Br is less than 2 months away from being 4 years old.  I hear age 4 is ALL about “Let me do it myself!”

And there will be bike riding, and car driving, and first jobs, and graduations, and marrying, and all kinds of bigger opportunities than getting a glass of water that my little boy won’t need me anymore.  My JOB as a parent is to raise a child that can function INDEPENDENTLY in the world , though hopefully also with compassion & a conscience.

Like first loves (and isn’t your first-born child a whole other version of that?), THIS first will leave a mark and change the way I think about myself: a mother, but someday that will no longer be my primary “defining role”.

I guess I have some work to do on my independence as well.

“Hey, Br, can you get me a glass of water? I’ve got some important stuff to work on…”

Br getting water

 

 

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Flower “stained glass” windows

We were having cold-spring-like weather in late June, so here is a good indoor craft we did (though will also work for the now-sweltering heat!): Flower “stained glass” windows.  I saw this idea over at The Artful Parent.   We did briefly head out to the yard to gather flowers & leaves, which was a nice respite from being inside.

Bl choosing flowers to pick
Bl choosing flowers to pick
Have I mentioned Bl REALLY likes being outside?
Have I mentioned Bl REALLY likes being outside?
Weeds are a good choice
Weeds are a good choice

 

Materials:

– contact paper ( got a 12″ x 36′ roll at Walmart for about $5)

– paper plates

-exacto knife & cutting mat/cardboard ( to cut middle out of plate)

-scissors (to cut contact paper)

-flowers/leaves

Bl was a bit interested in pulling the leaves off the flowers (what toddlers isn’t?), but lost interest in sticking them on the contact paper.  Bl took a piano break.

Piano Break

Which was okay, because that left Mommy with a pile of flowers to play with.  There is WAY worse ways to be left.

Once it was “completed”, I covered it with another piece of contact paper (flowers sandwiched between the sticky sides).  I left the contact paper long, and used the overhang to stick it to the window (not pretty, but toddler-watching-quick).

Voice of experience: be careful how you apply the contact paper/ smooth it down, so the petals/leaves don’t get folded over the wrong way

Bl checking out Mommy's work
Bl checking out Mommy's work

After seeing the first finished product, Bl was much more interested in taking part.  Unfortunately, so was Mommy….

*sigh*  *process, not product….*

Once the flower carnage was over, and Bl had moved on to other things,  I recreated my flower mandala.

Bl appreciating the view
Bl appreciating the view

I tried the activity again with Br (3 1/2).  He was certainly more interested in taking part, but wanted to generally put the whole flower on, rather than individual petals, despite my explanations it would be very lumpy and not as easy to see through.

I had Br help figure out how big to cut the contact paper ( lesson in relative size) and cut it (scissor practice= fine motor skills).

Br measuring & cutting the contact paper for his "stained glass"
Br measuring & cutting the contact paper for his "stained glass"

Okay, so Br was probably more interested in the chance to use big scissors than the artistic design.

 

Br's completed design
Br's completed design-Notice his rapt attention to smoothing the contact paper on carefully.... 😉 Oh well.

It will be interesting to see how the boys differ doing this activity in the future, but was pretty decent for a first-attempt.  Okay….mostly, I enjoyed playing with the flowers…. :)

Post Script: both kids found these way more interesting once they were hung on our sliding glass door- it was neat to see the details that showed up in the flowers & leaves once a little light was shining though them.

 

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Kid Salsa* (*made BY kids, not OF them…)

There was a potluck lunch at Br’s (3 1/2) preschool for the last day of the regular school year.  We were supposed to bring “something with fruits or vegetables”, so I asked Br if he wanted to make “his salsa” for his friends at school.

We’d made this once before.  Br really enjoyed doing, and we all ate it, even Bl!  It is surprisingly good, and is a great way to get Br involved in the kitchen.

Materials:

-Bowl

-Kitchen Shears

-canned “Fire Roasted Tomatoes”

-can opener

-green onions

-herbs (we used fresh oregano & fresh cilantro*)

-lime/lemon (optional)

-tortilla chips (or anything else you like to eat with mild salsa)

*depending on the herbs you use (& the size of the leaves), the parent may want to chop them up first to avoid a “salad” feel

Open the can of fire roasted tomatoes (I let Br turn the handle for the can opener once I had it started). Dump them into the bowl.  Arm child with the kitchen shears and have them go at it (with appropriate warnings about sharp scissors and the avoidance of appendage or little brothers)!

 

Br chopping his salsa
Br chopping his salsa

 

 

I chopped the root end of the green onion off, then passed it to Br to cut up with the kitchen shears.  He cut a lot of the pieces really big, so I pointed out to him to cut them smaller with his shears once they were in the bowl.

I had Br pull the leaves of the herbs of their stem.  For the oregano, I showed him how to lightly pinch the stem and pull it through his fingers to get all the leaves off at once.  He thought that was pretty amusing.  :) I chopped the cilantro for him, then had Br use a little scraper to put it in the bowl.  I had Br smell the different ingredients, and taste it at different points to “decide what we needed to add”, to help bring in the sensorial component.

We also put in a squeeze of lemon. I squeezed it with my hand, but I probably could have had Br do it if we’d used a citrus juicer or reamer.

Stir, check there aren’t any giant chunks left (and if there are, have them cut them with the shears), and sample!

Post Script: Br had tried to pressure some of his kid friends to try it who apparently weren’t “salsa fans”, but I got a number of compliments from the parents & teachers, & they were shocked to find out Br had made it himself!

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